Blog 3

Long Essay 1 Draft

Just want overall feedback on what you guys think. Does it flow nicely? Does it make sense? I don't need help with grammar i will proof read and fix that later. 

             

Fate. Not everyone believes in it. Not everyone thinks it exists. However, I believe that in everyone’s life they come to the inevitable fork in the road. The one where fate pushes them one way or the other. This experience changes their life and makes them see things in a way they never have before. Whether it be a good experience or bad it changed you in a way you never expected. This is my fork in the road and the path that fate pushed me into.

I had been in this room once before. I hated it. I never understood why the people who worked here actually believed that this was a friendly environment. I remember I was sitting on the bed. I hated this spot. It is supposed to be comfortable and welcoming but it actually has the opposite effect. The crunching paper just sounds like its screaming at you to get off of it the minute you sit down. The random pictures on the wall have nothing to do with what I’m here for. I see the x-ray light box hanging in the corner. I never would have thought that I could hate an object so much. But, the past few months have been such hell that everything about this room made me cringe in hatred.

Alongside fate I also believed in karma. I truly thought that these past few months of medical hell had been karma. There was that one time when my sister and I snuck out of the house to go to a party. Or maybe this was happening because of my twelfth grade math teacher that I wasn't that nice too. I figured that this punishment was so big that it had to have been a combination of all the different awful things I had done throughout my life. Either way, it was awful and I wouldn't wish this physical and mental pain on my worst enemy.

I had been sitting there for what felt like an eternity when the doctor finally walked in with x-rays in hand. He asked me how I was feeling, took my temperature and blood pressure, basically he did the whole checkup thing. I remember his words clear as day. “Well, we did a biopsy of the mass. There is good and bad news. I’ll tell you the good first. Good? The mass in your breast is not cancerous. Bad? We still need to remove it because it is quickly growing and we want to get it out while it is still small and easy to remove.” I didn't know how to feel. I was happy because that was the second non-cancerous tumor I had. But, I knew that this meant another surgery and another few days out of work due to surgery and recovery time. So many thoughts arrived. I wanted to cry and scream all at the same time.

One thing that was a constant throughout these few months was a steady feeling of being pissed off. I was a twenty year old person who had to experience two cancer scares in a matter of three months. I knew that I had not always been the best person and that karma had surely done a number on me. I didn't know what I was going to tell my friends or sisters. My mom was already crying which made this situation that much harder. My dad didn't even know what to say. I knew that this was some higher power’s way of getting back at me. However, I still found it to be incredibly unfair. I had worked so hard to stay strong during this whole thing that I knew I couldn't break down in front of anyone.